Monday, November 02, 2020

It's time for me to move to a quieter town

First my next-door neighbour took out Chaulk's fence about fifty yards down the street. That's the shoulder of the RCMP standing just off the shoulder having a heart-to-heart talk with Rick Chaulk.

Next he took out the bridge (which is what we call a Porch here, or a "Deck" in imperial units) of the house across the street, where Peggy used to rent, but David bought and rented out to "a nice young couple who won't trash the place", as I reminded him just half an hour ago. With the renter's car taking in some of the damage to its front fender.

Then he came back across the street and took a shot at my kitchen. Kerry is photographing parts of their deck which remain in the trunk, after the trunk hit the trunk of my – oh never mind!

I now have 14½ trees on my property. This is what the rear of the car did to the kitchen-side (away from the street) of one of my trees.

I have circled the two impact points. The first is more or less centre of the roof of the car. The second is above the left rear wheel.

This suggests to me that the car was diagonal when airborne(see below) it was stopped in its non-tracks by the tree.

(below) I say "non-tracks" because there are no wheel or tyre marks between my kitchen wall – wot he bounced off of – and where the car came to rest ten feet back from the wall. That to me suggests airborne. The trunk of the car is, as we say, a Dead Parrot, and I am too deprived of sleep to look up the appropriate link.

Now this to me is interesting.

The energy of a moving body or particle is proportional to the square of the velocity, as we all know, so leaving aside Rick's fence (up the street), we have to ask, what velocity must the car have reached after a reboot (to coin a phrase) from fifty yards across the street to travel ten feet horizontally airborne after making minor damage to my plastic siding, and replacement damage to the wiring that runs, or now drips, from a plastic pipe containing electricity across the foot of the wall, I will wait until tomorrow to phone Bartlett's.

Now you are probably wondering if the old fart is alive. Yes he is. After being woken by a loud bang, I first checked both libraries to see which bookcase(s) had fallen away from the wall. When one of those babies spews books, it takes hours to pick them up and put them back in Dewey sequence. The Guest room shelves were OK, so I popped into the study library and found water on the floor. The energy of that impact on the far side of the house had been sufficient to knock one of my glasses with philodendron right off the window ledge, so there's more work in the morning, topping up the jar with water.

It was then I noticed the bright light in the kitchen – coming in through my kitchen window. Saw the light coming from my front yard. Been there, done that. I asked Bernadette "is anyone in the car?" and she sobbed that yes, her Dad was in the car and he wasn't moving. So helpful occupant that I am I valiantly went inside, dialed 911 and asked for an ambulance. That always brings the police and the fire trucks. Two ambulances and four fire trucks actually. I hadn't realized the town was so endowed. I should join Facebook.

So, anyway, what with all this Covid stuff I feel certain that a blood sample will have been taken by the time this is uploaded. Constable wossname can take it from there.

This morning's post-mortems agree that the car came from across the street, crossed my driveway scattering my Rock Collection as it went ...

... before scraping part of the tree off with the car's right-hand side door column

... after which the car continued travelling forward with so much speed (=energy) that it hit the wiring and the rock foundation of the house.

The house picked up the car and bounced it back airborne at a 45 degree angle.

45 degrees because the impact of the car hitting the tree trunk can be seen by a trunk indentation top-centre of the roof, and another trunk indentation lower-left, inline with the first. That is, the car had managed to rotate 45 degrees, right-side up, by the time it hit the tree.

There were no tyre tracks or marks on the lawn.

The malicious house threw the car at the poor tree wot never did nobody no harm...

Four things to note:-

1. I have used strong cello-tape to bind an 18" wound/bark back on to the tree. That is the damage done as the car bounced into the tree after hitting the house. Very little sap is running, but I will seal the gaps with tar this afternoon.

2. One of the two missing chunks of bark is circled; that's what the car did on its way in towards the house, before bouncing back.

3. First thing this morning David came across with two really strong looking guys to ask me if he could have his steps back; the ones he gave me last August for my in-law door. What could I say except "Yes, David, of course you can have them back!"?

4. The new tenant has taken to parking her car behind the house, instead of in front of it.

5. Five, There are five things to note : The tyre tracks from where neighbour floored it are faintly visible as the car leaves the other driveway and takes aim at my poor house wot never did etc. etc. etc.

Tuesday, November 03, 2020

A new sub-theory arises, based on my observation of my tree. The energy required to leave such an indentation (see " Kerry is photographing" above) is significant; there must have been an exchange of energy at that instant. So why does the upper part of the tree bear no marks? Answer: The damage to the rear of that car, and the indentation, was delivered at the instant of impact with the deck across the street (see " Next he took out the bridge" above). Note too the garbage bags strewn about the bridge, when the house's garbage bin is on the far side of the house.

Hence the sub-theory that the car was skidding, rotating about its vertical axis, backwards, on its two right-hand wheels, the left hand side being raised in the air at a 45-degree angle, then the car slammed into the corner of the bridge, causing that massive indentation, opening of the trunk and disgorging of the bags of garbage (and collection of part of the deck), before the driver recovered enough to set sail towards my house.

Corollary: After striking my house the car was not airborne, and merely rolled away from the house.